So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
