"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
