in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
