Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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