The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
