He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
