If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
