Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
