Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
