She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
