Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
