I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
