we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
