That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
