I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
