He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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