My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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