im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
