I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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