We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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