So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
