So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
please come you make the beer taste better
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
