we're blogging at a bar
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
