all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize