So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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