I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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