is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
