batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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