walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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