just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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