im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Maybe he injected his testicle?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize