..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
