like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize