I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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