Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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