Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
