i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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