Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
