i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
