What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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