It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
