How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize