I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
