i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
