I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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