Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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