what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
