you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
