Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
