all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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