Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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