OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
