Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
