My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
organizing the empties. That sober.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
