I want to make a zoo with you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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