She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
