So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
