pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
no, he came in my armpit
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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