I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
