We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
