I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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