btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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