chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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