I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
