You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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