he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
